I don't like to be labeled.

I was 17 when I decided to live for a while on a kibbutz and volunteer to work the land. I remember how some Israelis there asked whether I was American or Canadian or whatnot, and I responded with, "Ani bat-Yisrael." I am a daughter of Israel. That response elicited much laughter from the Israelis. I didn't care. I laughed at it myself...it was a tad dramatic. But,  I didn't want to be labeled as an American. I didn't feel like an American. I defined myself as a Jew. A Jew who loved Israel and believed in the Torah way of life. Plain and simple. 

And don't call me Orthodox. I'm not even sure what that means in practical terms. While I try to be religious, I'm certainly no saint, so let's leave the labels of Orthodox, Modern Orthodox, Conservadox, Conservative and the like out of the picture. The time will come, as it does for all, when God will judge my actions on earth, and while I have no inside information, I've got a feeling that my earthly label counts for naught in the eyes of the Heavenly Tribunal.

One can believe in the truth of the Torah, and yet for whatever reason, not be so fervent in its dictates, while still having a constant spiritual perspective- always having God on one's mind or in one's heart. Oh, and don't call me a settler, even though I'm proud of living in Judea. But I know what most of the world means, in large part thanks to an ignorant and biased media, when they refer to one as a "settler". And please, please, please don't refer to me as a beverage.

I don't like being bunched into a category. Too claustrophobic and it doesn't bode well with my in-your-face non-conformist persona. I prefer to be able to anonymously flit from one labeled group to another, although

I suspect that with my uncovered head, I would stand out in places like Mea Shearim and Geula. I guess my jeans would be a dead give-away too so let's skirt that issue.

So, when you see me on the street, or talk about me behind my back, just call me Zahava. Or better yet, you can point at me and say, "Hey, isn't she the great author, Zahava D. Englard?"

 That works for me too.